Category Archives: Weight loss

Happy Anniversary to me!

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It’s been ONE YEAR! That is nothing short of amazing, my friends. 365 days that I have stuck with something. Ask my husband. It’s a freakin’ miracle.

The past couple of weeks my body has been rebelling and insisting that I eat sugar. Ice cream, chips, cookies…BAD, BAD, and more BAD. So I’m trying to reset, but I don’t want to lose anymore weight (mostly because I can’t afford new clothes). So I’m trying to make sure I don’t eat that stuff, but I am failing. Miserably. Last night, I ate three Girl Scout cookies that a well-meaning student gave me during Teacher Appreciation Week. I should have given them back. I ate three. Then I had a Drumstick ice cream treat about 15 minutes later. Did I mention the sugar cravings were bad?

Ugh. All those diet and lifestyle gurus who tell you, “It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change”. Psh. I always thought that was “new age bunk” (to quote my grandmother). Sadly, it seems to be true. So I will celebrate this momentous anniversary with my breakfast of egg muffins- not to be confused with delicious English muffins- and my lunch of baby food meat sticks, cheese, pickles, and Atkins chocolate. Be jealous.

I hope my kids know better than to get me chocolate for Mother’s Day.

Full Disclosure

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Many of you have shown an interest in beginning a journey to a healthier life. I applaud you! I must, however, be completely honest about what you may encounter. In the first three weeks of this journey, when you cannot have more than 20 carbs a day, no one and nothing with be safe from your wrath. 

I’m serious. 

About midway through the second week of induction, I was walking up the stairs in my house. I was not angry. No one had done anything to irritate me. I was calm. By the time I reached the top of the stairs, I was enraged. ENRAGED. I went into my bedroom and almost put our laundry basket through the wall. For no reason.

As you go through carb withdrawal, which is really sugar detox, your brain goes a little crazy. Maybe a lot crazy. Please do not kick your cat or scream at your spouse. The fact that they can still eat bread is not their fault. Just breathe, and redirect your energy/outrage. Clean the top floor of your house. Detail your car. Mow your neighbor’s lawn. Whatever. Just try to make it through without harming members of your inner circle.

That being said, I promise it gets better. By the end of the third week, you will have lost pounds, gained energy, and that crap will have left your system. Then the real work, of actually changing your diet, can begin. If it helps, you can be mad at me. I can take it, and I understand. Plus, I’m far enough away from most of you to be physically safe. 

Please don’t think I’m preaching to you. You will never know how many times in my life I tried to do this before it worked. Countless. I promise. No , really. Just get some Atkins chocolate, and hang in there.